While I’ve read the cards for years, I’ve been using new spreads to break out of my comfort zone.
I watch Tarot Elements on Facebook and Google+. Catherine posted about The Personality Spread. I glanced at it, saw a 9-card grid and shrugged. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly special about it. The position names caught my eye as I read further. I decided to give it a try. I’m so glad I did. This was a wake-up call reading for me. If you don’t want to learn more about me, might wanna stop now. 🙂
My main deck is The Mystic Dreamer Tarot. I didn’t even consider doing this spread with one of my other decks. That should’ve told me this was a special spread.
The Tarot Elements post invited a changing of the position names to personalize it. I changed it up … a bit.
The Personality Spread
1-2-3
Conscious-Unconscious-Source of Stability
4-5-6
Tenacity-Aspiration-Type of Spirituality
7-8-9
Opportunity Usage-Motivation-Energy Level
Conscious-Unconscious
Five and Four of Cups
Conscious-Five of Cups: I have a really hard time pushing through my near-constant grieving to see what I still have. Even when I lay down and try to imagine happy times, they don’t seem “real” to me unless there’s also constriction of the relationships. I keep telling myself it’s temporary, that this simply can’t last, but part of me just seems stuck in it. I see this card as a sign to take a closer look at what I still have and accept that it’s okay to grieve about what I’ve lost.
Unconscious-Four of Cups: This caught me off guard. I felt totally “emo” for a moment. I’m bored to an almost cosmic level. My anger and depression just keep swirling around and around underneath. I have put so many things in my life to care about because it made things better for others and me more palatable to them that I’ve erased much of myself from my outward existence. I apparently have an inner problem with doing that. This card made me look at everything I do from activities and hobbies to how I just spend my time when I don’t have any obligations for a moment. I was stunned at how much of it felt “phoned in” to me – like my life was a fantasy I didn’t really believe in at all.
Source of Stability-Tenacity
10 of Wands & King of Swords
Source of Stability-Ten of Wands: I have a pretty stable pattern, I think. I take it on, then some more, then more, then a lot more and then get angry and ruthlessly scale it all back down to reasonable levels, regardless of what/who gets tossed aside when I hit my limit. I set goals and work very hard to achieve them. I see this card as a signal to not just work hard, but work effectively and be okay with a reasonable workload the whole way through instead of just when I can’t go further without falling on my face from the weight.
Tenacity-King of Swords: I decide whether to hold on or not from a source of intelligence, objectivity and rational analysis. My mind chooses the object of my affections either before or simultaneously with my heart. I have to fight harder to hold onto something I see as weak or incompetent. When someone or something wins my respect, loyalty is just about assured … for life.
Aspirations – Type of Spirituality
The Chariot & Three of Pentacles
Aspirations-VII The Chariot: I wasn’t surprised at all with this one. I want mastery of everything to carry me forward to my goals. I don’t like relying on others to carry me along. I want to run, feel the wind in my hair and know my own legs took me to that finish line. I don’t mind running with others, but would feel cheated if I sprained my ankle and a friend carried me over the line, however grateful I am for their friendship and sweet action.
Type of Spirituality-Three of Pentacles: I’m great with soul, okay with mind and working hard on body. It’s balance that has eluded me. I hoped to see Temperance here as a sign that I’d achieved my goal, but knew it wouldn’t be since I’m not quite there yet. I’ve learned that balance is a constant action of walking for me. I tried creating a perfect picture of balance, such as a martial artist stance or stack of stones in the middle of a lovely pond, but those aren’t me. My balance is in walking a barely-traveled path through a gorgeous forest remembering to stretch and sip water as I go to stay hydrated. The motion, the mental activity of strategy and coordination, physical nourishment and soul-connection with nature is the epitome of my personal balance. I’m close … but not a mistress at it yet.
How I Use Opportunities-Motivations
The Four & Eight of Swords
Opportunity Usage-Four of Swords: This card amused me. This is just about exactly how I deal with opportunities. When someone offers to give me plants I can’t get alone for my garden, I relax. When someone offers me a job, I relax. When someone asks if I’d like to swap houses, I totally don’t do it; but the moment the offer is made, I relax. I’m comfortable with most-likely-good changes. I get excited the closer I get to them actually happening if I decide to do them, but the opportunity itself presenting, I chill. The opportunities usually come on the heels of truly sucktastic moments, so I’m cool with my natural instinct to take a breather the moment they show.
Motivations-Eight of Swords: This sucks, but is so true. My entire life, what makes me move is for me to get pissed. What makes me pissed? Being trapped. If I’m afraid to move for getting cut, or terrified of what people think of me or whatever … I get angry and break out. Being trapped by a deadline, other people’s actions or opinions or imminent suffocation will pop me into action that doesn’t give the slightest damn about what damage it causes. I’ll kill to get out the moment I realize I’m trapped.
Energy Levels
Hermit
Energy Levels-IX The Hermit: I see this. When I seek my truth, whether alone or in a teaching/studying position with others of like mind, my energy goes up. The previously mentioned trek through the forest path is incredibly invigorating. Any time I’m actively exercising my soul, I recharge my batteries. Dancing with lit candles, natural fabrics, deep bass and percussion … I heal. On the other hand, when I’m bored, procrastinating and only socialize in ways that are incredibly boring to me … I get just plum exhausted.
That’s it. That was one of the most informative spreads I’ve ever used. If you got this far, I recommend you not only give it a go, but read the original post at Tarot Elements, then customize it for yourself. 🙂
3 Comments
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Kthonian Bookworm 
Hi Garnet,
Thank you for sharing your version of the Personality Tarot Spread on your blog – it was interesting to read your take on it.
I really resonated with your 4 of Cups and 8 of Swords. Following your interpretation, I believe what you were saying was that you often don’t feel that you know who *you* are, based on what everyone else expects of you. I often feel the same way too. I felt the 8 of Swords reiterated that for you too and suggested that you are or feel trapped because you’re not being yourself, or who you really are – rather like wearing a skin or mask.
Your reading was enlightening for us both. Once again, thanks for sharing your reading.
Warm wishes,
Catherine
Thanks for commenting. Most people private message me instead. I thought it was just me, but saw a post just a few moment ago that mentioned commenting on blogs across the board has gone to near nil regardless of popularity.
I don’t normally publish my interpretations, but it felt right to after you asked me to share my experience. I’m glad you found something to take away from it. I love that you seem to get what I meant about it.
The moment I realize I’m trapped, I do everything I can to get out of it. That’s what the 8 of Swords showed. What the 4 of Cups revealed to me was … that I was trapped. I’m in the process of breaking out of the trap I described.
With the 4 of Cups, I absolutely have been trapped inside my own skin. I have a horrible habit. I am inclined to protect people from information I believe will harm them or bring them down on me. My grandmother taught me as a child that if I said or did things she believed were evil, I’d be severely punished. I learned to shut my mouth unless I was ready to fight. Now I constantly hear from my husband, “Use your words.” I can write a million times for efficiently for communication purposes than I can ever open my mouth and say something. I learned keeping secrets keeps me safe. I’ve learned I can’t do that with my husband and have a full partnership with him.
I kept huge secrets as a teen from my family to keep them from being exposed to the darker side of my life as well as because my mother’s health was frail. I still believe she would’ve died if I hadn’t done it. Again, I’m having to break through that to not protect my husband from information I know will hurt him or make him sad. It almost ended my marriage this weekend. I protect people from the parts of me they’ll find painful to deal with or that will incite them to hurt me for whatever reason. I’m sick of it to my very core. This card opened my eyes to that. I immediately began taking steps to break out. No more comfort foods for me. No more emotional commitments to food based on memories instead of nutritional value, taste and presentation. I want to enjoy my food. I refuse to be ruled by it anymore. I channeled the Queen of Swords when I cleaned up my life last year to remove the people who were always negative and pulling me down. Now I’m doing the same with my house, habits and hobbies. If it isn’t healthy and lovely, it’s gone.
When I made the decision, I expected to have horrific cravings and a hard time. My anger detached my heart from all of it. Except for normal hunger pangs, I’m not even craving cheesecake or chocolate. My husband’s craving them more though … so we’ll see if it stays that way once I’m no longer angry, just determined.
Good for you to be taking control! It’s not an easy thing after years of being or doing things in a particular way. The most important thing I think is going on here is the benefit you’re feeling and the good it’s doing YOU. The weight of burden and responsibility you carried around protecting everyone else is now lifted – how wonderful!
And you know, if some crap comes their way, they’ll deal with and instead of protecting them from it, if you choose, you can support them through it instead – much better for you and your relationships.
Much love,
Catherine